10 Ways to Improve Your Communication

Communication is extremely important in any walk of life.

Especially if you’re a bookkeeping business owner.

But, are you doing it effectively?

If not, you could be losing out on potential clients and profitable relationships.

Michael Lee Stallard, author of Connection Culture, shares the following tips on how to improve your ability to communicate with others:

Recognize varying connection needs

People have different predispositions when it comes to their sensitivities to feeling connection or lack thereof. People also respond differently to actions in terms of whether or not it makes them feel connected. Learn about the people you lead, and tailor your behaviours to connect based on what you’ve learned about each individual.

Be present in conversations

It has been said attention is oxygen for relationships.

When meeting with people, get in the habit of being present by giving them your full attention. Show you are engaged and interested by asking questions then asking follow-up questions to clarify. Listen carefully, observing facial expressions and body cues. Don’t break the connection by checking your phone, looking around the room or letting your mind wander.

Develop the ability to empathize

Mutual empathy is a powerful connector that is made possible by mirror neurons in our brains. Mirror neurons act like an emotional Wi-Fi system. When we feel the emotions of others, it makes them feel connected to us.

When we feel their positive emotion, it enhances the positive emotion they feel. When we feel their pain, it diminishes the pain they feel. If someone expresses emotion, it’s okay and natural for you to feel it too.

Develop the habit of emphasizing positives

Psychologist, John Gottman first observed marriages were less likely to survive when the positive/negative ratio of interactions dipped below 5-to-1 (or five positive interactions to every negative interaction). More recently, psychologist, Barbara Fredrickson found a positivity ratio also applied in the workplace. People need affirmation and recognition, so get in the habit of looking for ways to affirm and serve others. Do this by looking for task strengths and character strengths, which reflect the excellence of a person’s work and the way that person goes about her work, respectively.

For example, you might affirm a colleague by saying, “Nancy, that was an outstanding website you created. The navigation design was easy to use, the writing was easy to understand and the colour scheme was beautiful.” You might affirm her character strengths by saying, “Nancy, I appreciate the way you persevered to make our new website happen. You showed wisdom and humility in seeking the ideas of others and applying the best ideas to the design of our new website. Very nicely done.”

Control your tone of voice

Recognize that people will instinctively react to the delivery of your message before they hear its content.

They may put up a wall and become defensive or feel threatened if your tone of voice is booming, shrill or strident.

Negotiate with the mindset to solve a problem rather than to win

You can build connections with people during negotiations if you adopt and maintain the right mindset.

Thinking of the people you are negotiating with as competitors leads to disconnection and distrust. Instead, think of them as holding knowledge you need in order to identify a win-win solution. Negotiating requires probing, patience and perseverance to understand other people’s objectives, perceptions and sensitivities.

Provide autonomy in execution

Monitor progress and be available to help your direct reports, but refrain from micromanaging unless they ask for specific help.

Favour guidelines rather than rules and controls and let people know you are available if they have questions or would like you to act as a sounding board. This meets the human need for autonomy and allows people to experience personal growth.

Learn and apply the five languages of appreciation

Ask your direct reports about the times they remember receiving recognition at work. Find out what their primary and secondary languages of appreciation are. The five languages of appreciation in the workplace are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts and physical touch.

However, note that physical touch is not a primary language of appreciation in the workplace and should generally be avoided.

Apologize when you make a mistake

We all make mistakes, but not everyone says they’re sorry. Apologizing is an important step that will help rebuild connection.

Develop social skills and relationship skills and recognize the difference between them

Many individuals develop social skills which make them excellent networkers who impress and connect with others in casual interactions. However, in addition to social skills, it is essential to develop relationship skills which help create deeper connections with a few people who have your back.

Consider the skills you use when meeting someone for the first time versus nurturing your relationship with a best friend.

Relationship skills – regularly spending time with an individual, being open to sharing your struggles, sharing someone’s joy and pain, being there in times of need and so on – help develop the deeper connections that are necessary for individual wellness and well-being to thrive in life and achieve sustainable superior performance.

Scientific research has shown human connection makes us more productive, healthier and happier. Research also shows greater connection boosts revenue, profit and shareholder returns.

Well said Michael. Thank you for your insight.

So, in what ways are you improving your communication skills?

What tips from this blog post will you use to help better connect with your staff, clients, colleagues, family and friends?

Once you begin to fine tune the way you communicate with others, it could make a big difference in not only your bookkeeping business, but your life as well.

To your success,

Michael