I wrote in a recent blog about my fear of having conversations which may result in someone getting angry. Because of that fear in the early days of growing my business, I would avoid conversations with clients about getting paid or treating me with respect until I couldn’t take it anymore and I would quit. However, running away didn’t solve the problem. It was only when I faced that fear that things began to change.
Wikipedia says that fear is an emotion induced by a perceived threat which causes you to quickly pull away from it and usually hide. It is a basic survival mechanism. In short, fear is the ability to recognise danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it (also known as the fight-or-flight response).
I worked with Peter Cook exploring the link I created between conversations and anger and I began to realise that there really isn’t a link. It wasn’t the truth and I had the power to create a different outcome. However, it wasn’t an immediate transformation and it wasn’t easy. I had to face my fears and stand my ground instead of fleeing. I started with easy conversations first and when nothing bad happened I started to face more difficult conversations. Each little step made me stronger.
Am I cured? No. I still feel the fear in the pit of my stomach and my instinct is to run away, only now I don’t. But I don’t just stand my ground either. I actually run towards it and punch through! That’s empowering.
We all have fears and some of them stop us from growing a successful bookkeeping business. You have two choices – fight or flight. If you don’t stand your ground and face your fear the issue is going to keep coming at you in different forms.
What’s your choice?
Article by Debbie Roberts
